A521.8.4.RB_MaceRoyce
McKay, Davis and Fanning provide some direction for making contact with strangers. How comfortable are you striking up a conversation with someone new? Are you able to "work a room" with ease?
In your blog, reflect on aspects of your personality and/or upbringing which make you able to relate to strangers easily—or not so easily. What lessons can you take from Chapter 14 of Messages to improve your ability to connect with others?
I'm glad that this reflection blog was created for this module. It definitely forces me to self-reflect and question my own personality, skills, and mannerisms when it comes to communication. The fact is that I am not very comfortable when it comes to strangers. I am never the type to initiate conversation. There are probably multiple reasons for this.
First, I am a direct and "to the point" type of communicator. I typically don't like to hear people's life stories and random babbling. This goes more so for the random person that I barely know, That sounds rude, but being the busy person that I am, I want the key information and that's it. Interestingly enough, I am very polite and invested in a conversation if I am approached by a stranger who wants to converse.
I am definitely not that person that works the room very well. There is an anxiety that I get in social settings because I think that everyone is focused on what I look like and what I am doing. I admit that some "liquid courage" will help to ease the communication shortcomings and anxiety that I have, but alcohol is not always available in every social setting. There is a huge part of me that is afraid of being judged by other people. I want to connect that feeling to childhood experiences, but I cannot tie it to one specific example or experience.
The easiest way to explain this fear of being judged and possibly ostracized likely comes from my mother. She also is the person that is afraid to initiate conversation with strangers. She has always kept to herself, but like her, I am very friendly and engaging when approached. Interestingly enough, I just had a stranger approach me at the gym a few days ago. I had never planned on saying "hello" to him as the gym is usually a time to focus and people tend to not want to be bothered. As this person and I had just gotten done with our respective workouts, he simply initiated conversation and introduced himself. I simply introduced myself back and a 10 minute conversation ensued.
Approaching strangers is definitely something that I need to get better at. I think that there a combination of personality and learned behavior from my mother that contributes to my inability to approach and engage strangers. My military profession has taught me to be more engaging as I have learned the value of networking. Networking has proven many times to be extremely advantageous in accomplishing the mission. Since I value the mission above all else, it has given me the courage to approach individuals and create a relationship with them.
In reflecting on chapter 14, I can definitely take away some of the techniques talked about and implement them in day to day life both in and out of work. Two specific applications will be my main focus moving forward: planning on getting rejected and asking questions. If I set low expectations for engaging strangers, I can avoid any emotional fallout. By asking questions, I can ease into the conversation in a straightforward manner by sticking with the basics. Getting to know someone by asking them a few simple questions can ease me into the conversation and feel more comfortable overall.
Moving forward, the most important thing for me is to practice talking to strangers and challenging myself. WikiHow (n.d.) discusses practicing until talking to strangers is second nature. The best way to overcome the social anxiety that I have is by confronting it head-on. I have to remember that talking to strangers will be like any other skill: the more I do it, the better I will get at it. With enough practice, it will feel completely natural to me. Eventually, I won't even have to think about how to manage conversations with strangers.
References
WikiHow. (n.d.). How to talk to strangers. Retrieved from http://www.wikihow.com/Talk-to-
Strangers
In your blog, reflect on aspects of your personality and/or upbringing which make you able to relate to strangers easily—or not so easily. What lessons can you take from Chapter 14 of Messages to improve your ability to connect with others?
I'm glad that this reflection blog was created for this module. It definitely forces me to self-reflect and question my own personality, skills, and mannerisms when it comes to communication. The fact is that I am not very comfortable when it comes to strangers. I am never the type to initiate conversation. There are probably multiple reasons for this.
First, I am a direct and "to the point" type of communicator. I typically don't like to hear people's life stories and random babbling. This goes more so for the random person that I barely know, That sounds rude, but being the busy person that I am, I want the key information and that's it. Interestingly enough, I am very polite and invested in a conversation if I am approached by a stranger who wants to converse.
I am definitely not that person that works the room very well. There is an anxiety that I get in social settings because I think that everyone is focused on what I look like and what I am doing. I admit that some "liquid courage" will help to ease the communication shortcomings and anxiety that I have, but alcohol is not always available in every social setting. There is a huge part of me that is afraid of being judged by other people. I want to connect that feeling to childhood experiences, but I cannot tie it to one specific example or experience.
The easiest way to explain this fear of being judged and possibly ostracized likely comes from my mother. She also is the person that is afraid to initiate conversation with strangers. She has always kept to herself, but like her, I am very friendly and engaging when approached. Interestingly enough, I just had a stranger approach me at the gym a few days ago. I had never planned on saying "hello" to him as the gym is usually a time to focus and people tend to not want to be bothered. As this person and I had just gotten done with our respective workouts, he simply initiated conversation and introduced himself. I simply introduced myself back and a 10 minute conversation ensued.
Approaching strangers is definitely something that I need to get better at. I think that there a combination of personality and learned behavior from my mother that contributes to my inability to approach and engage strangers. My military profession has taught me to be more engaging as I have learned the value of networking. Networking has proven many times to be extremely advantageous in accomplishing the mission. Since I value the mission above all else, it has given me the courage to approach individuals and create a relationship with them.
In reflecting on chapter 14, I can definitely take away some of the techniques talked about and implement them in day to day life both in and out of work. Two specific applications will be my main focus moving forward: planning on getting rejected and asking questions. If I set low expectations for engaging strangers, I can avoid any emotional fallout. By asking questions, I can ease into the conversation in a straightforward manner by sticking with the basics. Getting to know someone by asking them a few simple questions can ease me into the conversation and feel more comfortable overall.
Moving forward, the most important thing for me is to practice talking to strangers and challenging myself. WikiHow (n.d.) discusses practicing until talking to strangers is second nature. The best way to overcome the social anxiety that I have is by confronting it head-on. I have to remember that talking to strangers will be like any other skill: the more I do it, the better I will get at it. With enough practice, it will feel completely natural to me. Eventually, I won't even have to think about how to manage conversations with strangers.
References
WikiHow. (n.d.). How to talk to strangers. Retrieved from http://www.wikihow.com/Talk-to-
Strangers
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