A521.4.3.RB_MaceRoyce
McKay, Davis, & Fanning direct our attention to nuances associated with body language, paralanguage, meta-messaging and hidden agendas. Sometimes, our verbal messages are not congruent with our nonverbal messages. At times, our paralanguage belies our verbal content. Sometimes, we use hidden messages to "cover our tracks" and deliver positive messages about our intentions.
Reflect on Chapters 4-6 of Messages and create a blog posting that identifies how you might use the information in these readings to improve your ability to communicate with sincerity and congruence. Think about instances where you have been exposed to incongruent messages and how you felt at those times.
In your blog, use specific situations that you recall and describe changes that you would make using the technical jargon of the chapters. The goal is for you to become a more powerful communicator by understanding these common problems and deploying strategies to overcome them.
People use body language, paralanguage, metamessages, or hidden messages in their day to day communication. Most of us are aware of what body language and hidden messages are, but are not quite sure what paralanguage or metamessages mean. McKay, Davis, and Fanning (2009) define hidden agendas with a negative connotation and are generally seen as such. I have to admit that that paralanguage and metamessages are parts of communication that were unbeknownst to me prior to module four. I had encountered them before in normal communication, but didn't know that they were actually defined.
Internalizing chapters 4-6 of "Messages: The Communication Skills Book" helps the reader to take an all-inclusive look at their own communication habits. The information from these chapters can help me to do three specific things: 1) It can teach me more about body language and hidden agendas while introducing me to paralanguage and metamessages, 2) By thinking about my own behaviors with reference to these particular communicative behaviors, I can start to think about my own habits and communication situations, and 3) By utilizing the exercises set forth from the book, I can start to incorporate the book's suggestions in reference to my own communication habits and attempt to correct them and learn from them. I can also use my own techniques learned over time to counter some common communication errors (learned through trial and error).
I know that I have been on the giving and receiving ends of body language, paralanguage, meta-messaging, and hidden agendas. It's a bit hard to conjure up specific instances, but I know that I have been on the giving and receiving end of incongruent messages in all aspects. They always made me feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable since I could tell these different forms of communication were telling me different things. They simply didn't jive.
I always look at a person's body language for an indicator of what they are thinking or feeling. It's amazing how much of a dead giveaway body language can be. Thankfully, I learned early in my career to maintain positive body language in order to properly communicate with a subordinate. The military is very big on instructing young military supervisors how to properly counsel and speak to junior members. I feel as if body language is my strong suit when it comes to communication.
Paralanguage is something that I have to deal with very often as a personal obstacle. I tend to talk very quickly and do so especially when I'm nervous. I am pretty good in the areas of pitch, resonance, volume, and rhythm, but usually struggle in the areas of tempo and articulation. As my tempo increases, I tend to speak faster than I can think or articulate. This is frustrating, but I have learned to take a few deep breaths before engaging in conversation, so that I can feel more relaxed and slow the tempo.
As McKay et al. (2009) suggested, taking certain actions will make you feel a certain way based on the action you take. As an example, I take these slow and deep breaths to feel more relaxed and less nervous before engaging in conversation. This helps my words to reflect the slow, deep breaths that I am taking. I plan on using something that I know by heart as the book suggests and speaking it very slowly out loud. This may help me further in my struggles with tempo and articulation.
In reference to metamessages, I seem to encounter these almost everyday. My fiance uses metamessages very often to express her real opinion on a matter. It's never in a terribly negative way, but she definitely emphasizes words often to stress their importance and for me to fully listen to what she is saying. I usually know she is emphasizing certain words as to get my attention, but if the matter is more serious, there are times when these metamessages help me decipher what she is really feeling. For myself, metamessages are the most obvious way to decipher a person's feelings as they communicate. Even more so than body language. They seem more transparent and harder to control for most individuals.
Hidden agendas are the most negative kind of communication in my eyes and are dangerous because of their seemingly deceptive nature. Hidden agendas are hard to recognize for the individual who conveys them and in many cases one could argue that many people know about their hidden agendas and wear them like a "badge of honor". What I would like to specifically point out in reference to hidden agendas is that there are two different versions of hidden agendas. One is malicious and 100% self-benefiting while the other is non-malicious and benefits multiple parties.
While a little off topic, I personally think that a person can have a somewhat "positive" hidden agenda. An agenda where their competitive side utilizes their ability to "navigate" the political field and integrate their own dampened version of a hidden agenda to get what they want. For example, a military member who wants to get a promotion. This person knows that helping others to get promoted and making their boss (whom they don't like) look good will help them to get promoted. This person is also a bit self-centered, so their reason for helping others is for their own self-serving reasons.
Now, while this sounds like a full blown hidden agenda situation, we can see that it isn't totally negative from a very basic standpoint. They are helping others get further along in their careers although not necessarily for the right reasons. In essence, there are varying levels of hidden agendas. Some are definitely worse than others. Lastly, I would venture to say that hidden agendas are the hardest communication to fix. Hidden agendas are rooted deeply in ourselves where personal feelings about ourselves and others tend to bury themselves deep. Only by fully knowing and accepting ourselves can we permanently get rid of hidden agendas and acting them out.
References
McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages: The communications skills book. Oakland,
CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
Reflect on Chapters 4-6 of Messages and create a blog posting that identifies how you might use the information in these readings to improve your ability to communicate with sincerity and congruence. Think about instances where you have been exposed to incongruent messages and how you felt at those times.
In your blog, use specific situations that you recall and describe changes that you would make using the technical jargon of the chapters. The goal is for you to become a more powerful communicator by understanding these common problems and deploying strategies to overcome them.
People use body language, paralanguage, metamessages, or hidden messages in their day to day communication. Most of us are aware of what body language and hidden messages are, but are not quite sure what paralanguage or metamessages mean. McKay, Davis, and Fanning (2009) define hidden agendas with a negative connotation and are generally seen as such. I have to admit that that paralanguage and metamessages are parts of communication that were unbeknownst to me prior to module four. I had encountered them before in normal communication, but didn't know that they were actually defined.
Internalizing chapters 4-6 of "Messages: The Communication Skills Book" helps the reader to take an all-inclusive look at their own communication habits. The information from these chapters can help me to do three specific things: 1) It can teach me more about body language and hidden agendas while introducing me to paralanguage and metamessages, 2) By thinking about my own behaviors with reference to these particular communicative behaviors, I can start to think about my own habits and communication situations, and 3) By utilizing the exercises set forth from the book, I can start to incorporate the book's suggestions in reference to my own communication habits and attempt to correct them and learn from them. I can also use my own techniques learned over time to counter some common communication errors (learned through trial and error).
I know that I have been on the giving and receiving ends of body language, paralanguage, meta-messaging, and hidden agendas. It's a bit hard to conjure up specific instances, but I know that I have been on the giving and receiving end of incongruent messages in all aspects. They always made me feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable since I could tell these different forms of communication were telling me different things. They simply didn't jive.
I always look at a person's body language for an indicator of what they are thinking or feeling. It's amazing how much of a dead giveaway body language can be. Thankfully, I learned early in my career to maintain positive body language in order to properly communicate with a subordinate. The military is very big on instructing young military supervisors how to properly counsel and speak to junior members. I feel as if body language is my strong suit when it comes to communication.
Paralanguage is something that I have to deal with very often as a personal obstacle. I tend to talk very quickly and do so especially when I'm nervous. I am pretty good in the areas of pitch, resonance, volume, and rhythm, but usually struggle in the areas of tempo and articulation. As my tempo increases, I tend to speak faster than I can think or articulate. This is frustrating, but I have learned to take a few deep breaths before engaging in conversation, so that I can feel more relaxed and slow the tempo.
As McKay et al. (2009) suggested, taking certain actions will make you feel a certain way based on the action you take. As an example, I take these slow and deep breaths to feel more relaxed and less nervous before engaging in conversation. This helps my words to reflect the slow, deep breaths that I am taking. I plan on using something that I know by heart as the book suggests and speaking it very slowly out loud. This may help me further in my struggles with tempo and articulation.
In reference to metamessages, I seem to encounter these almost everyday. My fiance uses metamessages very often to express her real opinion on a matter. It's never in a terribly negative way, but she definitely emphasizes words often to stress their importance and for me to fully listen to what she is saying. I usually know she is emphasizing certain words as to get my attention, but if the matter is more serious, there are times when these metamessages help me decipher what she is really feeling. For myself, metamessages are the most obvious way to decipher a person's feelings as they communicate. Even more so than body language. They seem more transparent and harder to control for most individuals.
Hidden agendas are the most negative kind of communication in my eyes and are dangerous because of their seemingly deceptive nature. Hidden agendas are hard to recognize for the individual who conveys them and in many cases one could argue that many people know about their hidden agendas and wear them like a "badge of honor". What I would like to specifically point out in reference to hidden agendas is that there are two different versions of hidden agendas. One is malicious and 100% self-benefiting while the other is non-malicious and benefits multiple parties.
While a little off topic, I personally think that a person can have a somewhat "positive" hidden agenda. An agenda where their competitive side utilizes their ability to "navigate" the political field and integrate their own dampened version of a hidden agenda to get what they want. For example, a military member who wants to get a promotion. This person knows that helping others to get promoted and making their boss (whom they don't like) look good will help them to get promoted. This person is also a bit self-centered, so their reason for helping others is for their own self-serving reasons.
Now, while this sounds like a full blown hidden agenda situation, we can see that it isn't totally negative from a very basic standpoint. They are helping others get further along in their careers although not necessarily for the right reasons. In essence, there are varying levels of hidden agendas. Some are definitely worse than others. Lastly, I would venture to say that hidden agendas are the hardest communication to fix. Hidden agendas are rooted deeply in ourselves where personal feelings about ourselves and others tend to bury themselves deep. Only by fully knowing and accepting ourselves can we permanently get rid of hidden agendas and acting them out.
References
McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages: The communications skills book. Oakland,
CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
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